It's been 2 whole years.

My boyfriend and I recently celebrated being together for 2 whole years this past Saturday, the 27th. It's hard to believe that 2 years ago we were shy around each other, we didn't know everything about the other person, and we didn't get on each other's nerves.

2 years doesn't sound like very long especially compared to a lifetime but a lot can happen over 2 years that could change a lifetime. Like, two years after I met my last boyfriend I had his kid, two years after that that amazing little boy is walking and talking and cracking me up every day. Therefore, in the two years that I've been with Chris Mason a lot of life changing things have occured for me. He showed me that there is men that exist that I can trust, so I trust him. This is a big deal because the last guy who told me I could trust him turned out to be the worst guy I'd ever met. Chris also inspired me to go to college. It's hard to believe that college didn't exist in my immediate plans after high school but they didn't. This was mainly because I had Noah and I didn't believe that I could continue to work, go to school, and be a single mom, but I changed my mind watching Chris get ready to head off to college all by himself over an hour away from where he'd lived his whole life. To me, that's amazing! I go to college but I'm still living in my mom's house with her support and surrounded by all familiar things. One last life changing thing that has occured to me over the two years I've been with Chris is that I'm happy. I had a pretty complicated life and still do but now I'm appreciated by someone other than my dependent. He always tells me how amazing I am and we all know he's amazing!

He may not agree with me with this whole "happy" thing because I have mood swings and everything but the proof is between us. I don't cry nearly as much as I did before he came along, and I can be excited about the future between us. I can't wait, but at the same time I want it to take it's time. When you think about it, the future is really only a day away, or a min., or a sec. because you never get those back. I want all of those seconds, and days, and years to run their coarse. Especially since we already proved that much can change in two years.


Okay. To celebrate our 2 year anniversary we decided to go to Worlds of Fun alone for the day. We had gone last summer with some of my family and it was fun so we decided that we should do our 2 years there. I, being my writer-self, decided to bring my journal along to document the way up there and back. I'm going to share some of my journal entry with you:

Worlds of Fun= our first road trip!
My mom warned us about frying out there. She says the heat index is over 100 degrees. This contridicted the weather forcast that my phone gave us last night which stated that Kansas City would be having thunderstorms. Either way, the weather is going to suck. Mom says, also, to drink lots of water. Well, it's 9 am and we're drinking Gaterade (and I'm drinking coffee :D) MMMMMM Pink Gaterade frome Chris. Matches my pink shirt! We listened to Lady Gaga on the way up!! Chris hit something on his way up; a stray tire or something. We had to pull over and cars were wizzing by all close. Something was messed up but nothing drastic...I really don't know.

What We Learned Today:
1. Roller coasters are much better experienced in the front of the ride.
2. Do not underestimate a new wooden roller coaster. (Prowler was amazing!!)
3. Three creams and eight sugars are not enought to make McDonalds coffee any less disgusting.
4. Jean shorts never dry
5. Appreciate FREE water outside of W.O.F. (bottled water is $3.50)
6. Screaming during a thrilling ride makes it easier to get through.
7. Once Miranda's hair is wet theres noooooooooooo saving it.

Things to Remember for Next Time:
1. Check weather before picking the day to go.
2. Try to smuggle in Gaterade bottles (if they don't check bags).
3. Clear schedule COMPLETELY (Chris!!) so we don't have to leave early.
4. Decide what you want to wear at the car so changes of clothes and/or shoes aren't packed around the park.
5. Choose clothes that cover little like beaters, tanks, halters, or strapless.
6. Doesn't matter how but carry water around with you to fight dehydration.
7. Don't over-stuff yourself at an amazing BBQ for lunch.
8. Bring more people; the more the merrier.

Anyway, we had a blast on our 2 year anniversary, so much fun that we're already thinking about what to do next year. I know we can make it that far even though it means getting through another year of being in different towns for college, more PMS, more fights, and this problem we're having now. I know I seem bored and not up to anything and I'm sorry Chris. Please don't be mad at me. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

******
It's been a few days. The world has calmed down slightly. My mom cried, my friends mom cried, and my boyfriend's mom cried. This information (being a lot of the moms that I know personally) leads me to understand that middle aged women every where took the death of this icon personally. My heart hurts really at the thought of anyone dying. It's not really for the person who has died but the people who are affected by the death. I hurt for them. I don't know why really but I do. This causes me to STILL not be over the death of this amazing performer/singer/dancer/song writer/person. And over the last couple of days I've spent much of my time celebrating his work and realizing that I knew much more and liked much more of his music and videos than I thought I did. I'm actually down right fond of his work. This blog post really is just a tribute to him. RIP MJ.

Michael Jackson will not be remember as just a very influential and famous singer he will be remembered as a goal or an example of an idea musical figure. Dancers will always want to dance like MJ. Singers will always want to sing like MJ. Performers, writers...etc. He is an ICON. Not only a human being anymore but a vocabulary or example in the music industry. Get like MJ...You CAN'T!

The Day That Michael Jackson Died

The day Michael Jackson died was June 25th 2009. That day is today. I woke up at 11 am...which is 2 hours later than I normally wake up. I took a shower and gave my baby a bath in record time getting out of the house at noonish. Today's agenda consisted of returning a dress that I had just bought yesterday mainly because I decided I was too broke to have the dress. Yay $20 in my wallet. But I was still overwhelmingly broke because I got a Worlds of Fun trip two days ahead and a cell phone bill of $140 pending. Not to mention insurance that my sis had to pay for me and diapers, wipes, and who knows what else pending. UGH! I do not make enough for all this. Since summer started, being a lowly waitress at Steak n Shake just insn't cutting it. I haven't made even as much as $40 in a very long time. Each night I go home with about $20 or $25 and it's gone in gas and food by just about the next day. SUCKS! Well today after only being able to put $6 in gas (which by the way is gone already) before work I couldn't bare it anymore. I broke down. My eyes couldn't hold back the frustrated tears. The best I could do was cover them up with my oversized sun glasses. When I had to go into work moments after tearing up all my co-workers weren't buying it. They kept on asking me whats wrong but I didn't want to talk.

Hearing about MJ dying didn't make my day any better. I didn't exactly grow up listening to MJ but I have always liked a great amount of his songs. I know he wasn't a perfect person but despite his flaws he was still a legend. A FREAKIN LEGEND. He is like Elvis. He is someone that will never be forgotten. He will always be an icon. There will be Progressive Auto Insurance commercials with people immitating him. There will probably be people constantly believing that he is still alive just like people and Elvis, or people and Tupac. "I saw MJ today!" haha. I just can't believe that someone so great is gone. Someone who made the music that we love today; someone who developed the art of the music video that artist copy and spill out thousands of dollars to make; someone who inspired so many of the artist that we support. I couldn't believe when I heard some people saying how they could care less if MJ died. That is a shame. It doesn't matter the mistakes he mad (or was accused of making)or the flawed personality or behaviors he had, I don't like to hear about anyone dying. It hurts. IDK Y it hurts so much but it does. Maybe it's because I realize that life is hella short. Whatever it is, MJ, please RIP.

Anyway, the day Michael Jackson died, in my case ended by hearing Shay and Noah chase each other around threatening to bite the other butts haha and going on a spider hunt in Noahs room to teach him to be brave (unlike me). It's 11:55...lol I was about to say that I didn't think we'd end the day by killing the spider but we just did. Well I didn't lol HELL TO THE NAW. My sis killed it and Noah followed her with his shoe to "extra" kill it. lol. My brave baby. I love him. Anyways...what happend with you on the day the Michael Jackson died? RIP MJ! Good Night.

A Good Book

Can someone suggest to me a good book to read? Something that isn't too intellegent. Hard book aren't enjoyable for me. Something kind of hip and fresh...not too old school. Something the reads quickly, keeps you hooked, and can be funny and sad? Maybe with a theme of love...has sex in it yet still some action. And is NOT any of the Twilight Saga books because I've already read them all. I could use a good book to read. Please help.

ooooh Noah.

Though I understand why parents tell there kids that they can "be whatever it is they want to be" I always found the cliqued statement to exclude me. Ever since I was a wee little girl (when I saw the Spice Girls' "Wannabee" video and then fell in love with Britney and her music) I wanted nothing else but to be a famous singer/songwriter. I absolutely LOVE to sing and though I've given up that dream I've never grown out of it.

I wrote my first song when I was in the 3rd grade: "Peace of Cake" which was about nothing at all. My sister, step sister, and I also formed our own singing group and though I clearly dictated it I actually stepped down as the behind the scenes girl instead of the lead singer. So, instead of being Beyonce (though I was clearly diva enough to be her) I was more like Kelly if she was the one who wrote all the songs and made up the dance moves. So really I was more like "Super Kelly". haha. This was from third grade until like 5th.

When 5th grade arrived in my life I was so determined to get the show on the road (my career as a famous singer of course) so I tried out for the Bopping Bulldogs which was a 5th grade choir group. I had to go into my music teacher's class room all alone with her and match notes on her piano. I think that was all; if it wasn't then that's all I remember because it was so traumatic. When the results came in my music teacher had written "We would love to have your voice in our group but it's not what we're looking for." I was devistated. But I came to my senses quick. That was the day when I had first realized that I couldn't sing. :( And no exaggerating, I've been heart broken ever since.

I love to sing so much, yet I hate hearing my voice. It makes me sad. It's like a hole in my heart that I can't fill because I can't succeed at my number ONE passion. Life is so unfair man!

But just because I can't sing doesn't mean I don't try. I actually try ALL the time. Like 1/3 of my day is spent singing. On good days more. Some days I sound better than others and I abuse it...the days when I sound worse than a dying cat...I get frustrated and quit. It's horrible.

Lately my singing has been getting so bad yet so frequent that my two year old has gone from liking it, to joining in with me, to hating it. Just about every time he hears me singing he tells me, "shubbup Mommy!" And each time I really don't expect it. I'll be in the middle of "...all eyes on me in the middle of the ring just like--" "shubbup MOMMY!!!" It's hilarious I know...but the sad thing is I really be getting my feeling hurt. I'm just so used to hearing my boyfriend complain about having to hear me sing in the most rude ways. For example, "are you trying to sound bad?" I just don't wanna have to deal with my kid complaining to. Especially at only 2!!! lol

Well, today it got worse. We were in the car and I began singing...again. Noah shouted from behind me in his car seat, "Mommy MEAN!" I stopped to ask him why mommy was so 'mean'. He responded with a simple yet hurtful, "sing..." I said, "Mommys mean because she is singing?" and he responded again with just, "yes." OMG! I didn't sing the rest of the way home. Yes it was RUDE but it was so well done and so freakin' cute I couldn't even be upset. OOOh Noah, you're sooooo nice.

Thankfully for Noah and Chris and the rest of the people who aren't deaf, I will not pursue a career in music. This sucks because it is pretty much the only thing that would make me completely happy...but I will settly for a career in education...I like kids lol. Life can just be so unfair...pshhh "You can be whatever you want ... but Miranda can't"

Thanks for reading <3>

PS>>>My baby may not think my singing is pretty but at least I know he thinks I am. My friend watched him today and texted me saying that they were looking at pictures of me and Noah kept saying "Pretty Mommy. awww Pretty!" lol My heart definitely melted. And I swear I never taught him that. lol.

I dress Generically...I know.

Hello everyone!

So, though you all may not know, or you may know...shit, I don't know, I am a waitress. Well lately business hasn't been booming to say the least. I have been so super broke recently that I could sell my hair (please...just an expression! theres NO WAY). The problem with ME being THIS broke is that I am a shopoholic. Ok, not for real, like I don't need help or anything but I LOVE to go shopping, especially since CoMo is so boring. I actually have fun by buying myself or my kid new clothes...or shoes...or accessories. lol. My friend and I often discuss our shopping days because she is the same as I am. WE LOVE SHOPPING. But we both have kids, crappy jobs, and no spare money.

I have it even worse than she does though because I have more expensive taste than her. I can't shop at the normal, cheaper stores...I always find myself walking into the loud thumping of the upbeat pop music inside the extremely overpriced Abercrombie and Fitch or it's baby brother (or sister I guess) Hollister. My most recent favorite is American Eagle. UHHHHH I'm grabbing my debit card just thinking about it! And YES I know I dress like a spoiled, preppy, white girl, and I'm down with that. I know the truth, I'm FAR from spoiled. As a matter of fact, I've never been spoiled in my life excpet when I was a baby. I'm not preppy...well not too preppy...well I don't really know, honestly, what preppy means! BUT I am only almost white. I have 1/4 black in me. So THERE!!! lol

Anyway, I'm really loving the summer time because that means I can wear all these super cute colars and free fitting clothes. Such as: cut off shorts, tanks, wife beaters, tube tops, halters, skirts, flip flops, GLADIATOR SANDALS (love them), and when I'm only chillin' in my crib yo' I'm rockin' that sports bra ya' digg? lol. It's so hot and the AC ain't on in my pad. lol I"M SO SILLY I KNOW.

I plan on uploading pics of my favorite outfits that I'm rockin now kk? You should UPLOAD some pics of yours. I bet that you all can agree that I need a fashion upgrade! So help me out. Thanks for reading.

Deja Vu

Imagine your jr high days. That exciting end of the school year dance that you just can't wait for. You get all prettied up to go. You buy your ticket. You've got your date. And you've never been to a dance before so this is even more exciting than the rest of the dances yet to come. But then you get there, excited to mingle and to DANCE in front and side by side your peers, yet no one is dancing. You stare down at the pale floor as the flashing lights shine patterns onto it like stars in the sky, but no one is under the stars tonight. There is only a few groups of girls in the middle of the floor talking to each other and randomly shaking their butts...no dancing. Hardly any mingling. Hardly a dance at all....Harldly any fun.

This occured to me when I was 14 years old and I got deja vu when last night, at 19 yrs old it occured again. NO, not at a dance but and a damn night club. wtf! At Columbia MO's hottest night club... hmmm what was the name again...o yeah, Deja Vu...what a coincedence. I felt like I had just walked into my 8th grade dance again. Tacky dressed groups of girls standing around on the dance floor talking and dancing awkwardly. Tables filled with few friends...not even attempting to dance. But why?

I mean SHIT I know the college kids left town a few weeks back but DAMN CoMo You are Wack as Fuck! I seem to not be able to find a damn thing to do in this town. And when I try It turns out to be a waste of 5 bucks. I had managed to talk my boyfriend into going out with me too, I promised we'd have fun because he doens't prefer the club. It was like a slap in my face and I know it'll b like two years before I can ever talk him into going again. No more dancing for me. Someone please help me out...why is there nothing to do in a town as big as this? Any suggestions?

I wonder if thats the reason why the club is named Deja Vu. It sure did give me
deja vu of a memory that I definitely didn't want to have. Hopefully next time I won't have deja vu of this past memory. He He.

Summer in Columbia is Soooo WackKKk!!!

Current mood: bored

Isn't it amazing the random things people will do when incredibly bored? These strange behaviors usually take place during one of those uneventful days spent laying around the house staring at the walls, which are oddly appearing more and more flamable. Well I had one of those days the other day. I was fed up with spending all my days off of work sitting in my house so I was determined to get out of this place I call HOME. When my sis aksed where I was going i think my exact quote was, "I don't know but I'm leaving." She, Noah, and I all climbed in my car and sped off.

We picked up Tay and road around until we decided to ride through the most ghetto parts of Columbia at like 7:30 pm bumping Britney Spears. As we rode down the streets with scattered civillians outside of their homes witnessing the "circus" exploding from our car speakers. (all eyes on me in the center of the rind just like a circus! I love it haha). You should've seent the looks on their faces. Confusion, disgust...haha.I'm still set on the idea that us driving through their hood with our B. Spears blasting energetic sound waves through the air was nothing short of a cool breeze on that hot, hot summer day...right? I luv Brit! I mean we couldn't stop listening to her then either. We even went old school. "Oops...I did it again," where I showed off the fact that I STILL know all the dance moves; "...Baby one more time," where we got clowned by a guy in a big truck behing us at a stop light. He LOVED our dance moves and even joined in....SEE everyone Loves B.Spears!! xoxo!

So we didn't stop out Britney tribute car ride until we pulled into Sonic where that day (june 3) they were giving away free root beer floats. MMMMM 10 oz of free root beer and a tiny free scoop of ice cream. That was a start but def. not enough.

"Can we get 7 root beer floats?...and some onion rings?"lol

"No not a banana, onion rings."

After we ate all our 7 root beer floats we decided to go back to Sonic for more free root beer floats. Pulling up to the drive thru window, I hid my face behind a napkin. I mean, I didn't want them to know I was a fatty. And I also didn't want to be denied another root beer float just because I had two. The worker wasn't fooled. When we pulled up around the corner and stopped swiftly at the window the first thing she said was,

"Ya'll are back?"

I refused to show my face. I leaned back in the passenger seat with a napkin held in front of me, Tay sat in the back seat with one hand in front of her face and another over Noah's, and Shay whom was driving, peeked through her fingers to see the floats she was reaching out to grab. The worker told us, "don't try to hide" as she held out our three more free floats. MMM I LOVE FREE STUFF!!!!! Don't ya'llllll? Thank you Sonic for giving back to your customers. Next time we want whip cream. JK JK JK

But, despite the fact that nothing great got accomplished June 3rd, when I returned home the usually aggrivating four walls of this dull and un-entertaining living room suddenly looked a lot less...well...flammable. Though I'm sure they still were...I'm just not so tempted to check and see.PS :: this was june 3...you should hear about my attempt at fun last night. I'm so annoyed with columbia... Let me kNow if u wanna hear about it!!!!!! Leave me a comment!

My how U've GrOwn...Yet still so YOung?

Current mood: surprised

I'm NOT the type of girl who went after guys that I know I never had a chance with. I would usually go for the ones who seemed on my level, or at least that I know would b slightly interested in me. But, unfourtunately I've fallen, NOW, for one that would NEVER even look my way, even if he was drunk as shit and I was the only one in the room. haha. This is b/c he is a celeb! What the hell is up with these Twilight boys? Okay, Twilight sucked. I know some ppl want to throw tomatoes at me after reading that statement but I'm sorry...Kristen Stewart didn't deserve that MTV award (that she dropped *cough*) and neither did Robert as far as I'm concerned. Shit, I was highly upset with the movie after reading the book. It's like the screen writer read a summary of Stephany Meyers' book and then made up her own version. I LOVED the Twilight books but that movie disappointed me extremely and now I am disappointed in MTV for awarding it. lol lol lol. Ok sorry if i offended anyone pls don't hate me.ANYWAY. I am not afraid to admit that I am sUpEr excited for New Moon...not only is it my fav. book from the saga ( I know many disagree with this too ) but it features the new JACOB BLACK! Taylor Lautner plays him and my how he's grown. Have you seen this BOY?!?!

http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LnlvdXR1YmUuY29tL3dhdGNoP3Y9U0o5YWZSZ1RveEU=

Shit he sexy! ya'll feel me? but tell me why he is only 17?!? lol. NO FAIR. I am too old for him...but maybe he's into OLDER girls. All I can say Is I officially wanna b on his team! Team Jacob BITCHES!!!

Post a comment...tell me how u feel! Follow me on twitter as well. www.twitter.com/MirandaHanes

The Hills have died and I've been locked out...

random

Current mood: bummed

The Hills died. No more LC. I feel like the show is getting faker and faker anyway. I mean ... why was Stacey at the wedding? lol I laughed at that one. And that was a question that never got answered. LOL. I wonder how Heidi felt about her surprise appearance. anyway i sound retarded. PS check out Cosmo...LC on the cover it's the shit and it's on sale. I ADORE Cosmopolitan! :D xoxo

but to my life:Aside from being disappointed that the damn public pool wasn't open even tho it's freakin' June and 90 degrees outside. Oh, and from being locked out of my house by my 2 yr old the other day...nothing is new. The whole "locked outta my house thing" was super dramatic for like a min. Other than that it was pretty funny.

I couldn't find my car keys for anything so I'm searching my house like a detective. I decide, after having no such luck, to look outside in my car. So I go out to my car shutting the door behind me and I guess Noah ran over and locked it. Well, my keys weren't in my car so I was locked out. I rang the door bell and he immediately scampered over to the door knob trying to unlock it. It was horrible b/c he can easily lock the door but its hard for him to unlock it. So here i am lookin a hot mess in a t shirt and a super short white "skort" my hair all crazy and my allergies going insaine. I'm banging on my own door yelling to the other side "Noah unlock the door!" and he's yelling "mommyyyy." People were outside watching (lol) and soon both me and Noah became frustrated. I felt bad for him b/c he was trying so hard to get the door open and he expected me to do it for him b/c I do everything for this little two year old but of course I couldnt' :( He began crying and I started tearing up b/c there was nothing I could do to get into the house to show him I was here for him. Well then there actually was something for me to do...I picked the lock with my sister's license that she left in the car. ahahahaha. He was relieved. Poor baby..Poor mommy ;)